my life (according to google).

Thanks be to alterknit for posting this on her blog…

Type in the following (to google) and choose the first choice.  Make sure you use parenthesis. 

1. Type in “[your name] needs”
Melanie B needs to accept that no one is self-sufficient all the time, and to be gentler with her “childish” emotional needs and wants.  (Apparently now I’m a Spice Girl?)

2. Type in “[your name] looks like”
“Melanie” looks like in Japanese:

"Melanie" in Japanese characters
(Neat!)

3. Type in “[your name] does”
Melanie does the twist.  (Sure I do.)

4. Type in “[your name] hates”
Melanie hates Janay because she is pregnant with her fiance’s baby, she is angry and she needs someone to blame and Janay is the scapegoat even though Derwin is just as responsible but she wouldn’t hate him I mean he is her man… (Okay…???  Appears to be some chatter from a CW tv show, lolz.)

5. Type in “[your name] goes to”
Melanie goes to vote.  (Don’t even talk to me about the last election. Bastards.)

6. Type in “[your name] loves”
Melanie loves Sage.  (As in the herb?  Why is it capitalized?  WTF is “Buried Alive”?)

7. Type in “[your name] eats”
Melanie eats A CRICKETT!! (And evidently there is video to prove it.)

8. Type in “[your name] has”
Melanie has been awarded two gold albums (and a gold single for “Brand New Key”) and three of her compositions were hits for The New Seekers.  (Really? Cool.)

9. Type in “[your name] died”
Melanie died in childbirth, pale and saintly.  (Highly unlikely.)

10. Type in “[your name] will”
Melanie will be showcasing her new album “Complicated Sweetheart” at this years Big Sound Conference, Brisbane.  (Clearly I was a rock star in a former life.)

Funny, you can tell this little exercise is making it’s way through the blogosphere.  I encountered a few other “Melanie” bloggers who did the same searches in the results.  By doing this we must be skewing Google’s search data, lolz.

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